TITLE: The Drawer

RATING: MA

PAIRING: A/O

SUMMARY: Alex wants something from Olivia.

Olivia turned the other woman so that she could feel up her breasts, bringing a moan of pleasure from the blonde. She fumbled with the keys and finally got the door opened, realizing they were never going to make it to the bedroom so she steered them toward the couch.

As the settled in and Alex leaned back, Olivia used her hands to push the skirt up and smiled as she realized Alex was wearing garters and no underwear. Sliding her hand up the firm thigh of the blonde she leaned in and whispered, "Living dangerously Counselor?"

Alex shifted beneath her and bit her lower lip, straining to get closer to Olivia’s waiting fingers. "I’ll have you know I used to go commando all the time. I find it more freeing."

"Really now? What happened to make you start using panties again?"

Alex shifted further down the couch and was almost in contact with what she wanted most—Olivia’s fingers touching, stroking her. "I met a certain Detective and every time I saw her, my juices would start to flow. I started wearing panties the day a large wet spot showed up on the back of my skirt. Now shut up and fuck me."

Alex sighed as Olivia began to stroke her and then kiss her thigh, and a few seconds later her eyes flew open as Olivia’s tongue made contact with her center. She dug her fingers into the brunette’s short, dark locks and moaned with every stroke her tongue made.

When they finally made it to the bedroom, the blonde returned the favor ten fold and both women collapsed on the bed, spent. Alex spied her Armani skirt, haphazardly thrown in the general direction of a chair and vaguely thought about getting up to straighten it out.

Since she and Olivia had been…dating? No that wasn’t right, they usually just had sex, but ‘fuck buddy’ had no real appeal to her and Olivia had actually taken her out for dinner a couple of times. ‘Seeing each other’ had no real appeal either since that would imply actually going out in public. Well, they did do that, though it was usually just to the bar and the guys, who knew nothing of their activities, were usually along for the outing and two pitchers of beer later they would end up at someone’s apartment, usually Olivia’s. Actually when she thought about it, it was always Olivia’s except for that one time they’d actually gone to see a movie together.

At any rate, since she and Olivia had been doing whatever it was they were doing, her dry cleaning bill had doubled and her cleaner always looked at her as though he could tell she was getting laid. And she was, but she didn’t want him to know that. At least not leering at her the way he did. She’d thought about asking Olivia to come with her to pick up her cleaning and give the old pervert a sneer, but that would make her…whatever with Olivia a more formal whatever.

Rubbing her temples, she shut her eyes and vowed to do as Scarlette had done and think about it tomorrow.

XXXXXXXXXX

As the long dark finger found it’s way to her opening, Alex moaned and allowed wakefulness to overcome her. She opened her eyes and smiled at Olivia as the brunette leaned in and kissed her. She spread her already bent legs and began to move against her lover. She was usually a private person when it came to sex, even when she was having sex by herself. She usually hid behind closed eyes, but this time she kept them opened, as did Olivia.

As overcome with emotion as she was, her orgasm was intense and dare she say spiritual? If she believed in such things. Which she didn’t, but Olivia Benson could make a believer out of almost anybody she was sure. She was pretty sure the religious right should try to convert Olivia for the sake of converting lost souls.

When they were done, she lay watching Olivia as she hurried around getting dressed for her day, hair wet from her shower. The brunette stopped and looked at her, a puzzled look upon her face.

"What?"

Alex rolled her head and chewed her bottom lip. "I want a drawer."

"What?"

"A drawer. A thing you put clothes in. Nothing big and not even a whole drawer, but enough to put some undies, hose and other items in."

Olivia avoided her face and sat with her back to Alex as she pulled on her socks.

"Alex, you’re going to be late. Don’t you need to go home and shower?"

"Yes and that’s exactly why I want a drawer. I wouldn’t have to go home if I had one here. Or some little space."

Olivia slowly turned to face her and Alex couldn’t, for the first time ever, read her thoughts.

"Alex, I told you I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I thought we agreed to keep this casual?"

Alex was hurt by her words, but managed to quickly hide her feelings. "Uh, yeah. I was just being logical is all. But if it makes you uncomfortable, forget I asked. And you’re right, casual’s good." She rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom to dress. It did not go unnoticed that she shut the door.

XXXXXXXXX

Olivia was more unsettled by her conversation with Alex than she’d like to admit. If she were honest with herself, she was pretty far gone where the blonde was concerned, and that scared her. She’d never given any other lover space in her apartment and for her it was a big move. It meant formalizing in some small way what they were doing. And she didn’t want that. She didn’t do things like relationships. She just didn’t. Olivia was her name and Casual was her game.

"Olivia? What’s up? You’ve just about torn that paper clip in two." Elliot Stabler knew his partner and he knew when she had it bad for someone. And he knew she had it bad for a certain blonde ADA. He’d learned long ago that Liv wasn’t the most discriminating person when it came to sex partners and after his initial shock, he’d gotten over it.

"Uh, nothing. Just thinking."

Leaning down next to her ear he whispered, "About a certain blonde?"

"No!"

Munch, who’d been eve’s dropping, rolled over to her desk and chimed in with, "Me thinks she doth protest too much."

"Bite me Munch. And kiss off Elliot!"

As if her morning couldn’t get any worse, she heard the distinctive rattle of heels coming down the hallway. Cursing, she busied herself at the coffee pot and tried to ignore her Pavlovian response to Alex Cabot, who was wearing the navy blue power suit that she’d had fantasies about.

Alex strode right up next to her and poured herself some hot water for her morning tea. Without sparing Olivia a second glance she turned to the guys and started in on how they’d screwed the latest case up. Elliot and Munch shared a pissed off glance and then shot Olivia a nasty look letting her know they thought this was all her fault.

XXXXXXXXXX

8 Days later

The last few days had been sheer torture for Olivia. Alex hadn’t been rude to her but Olivia could tell it was taxing the younger woman’s manners to be cordial. The few times they’d seen each other during the last few days had been strained at best with Alex cutting off any attempts Olivia made at conversation.

Over the course of their three month involvement, Olivia had grown accustomed to soothing her rough days in the presence of Alex in her office. They usually had a drink from Alex’s secret bottle of bourbon and hashed over the atrocities of their day. Now Olivia stood outside the door, wanting desperately to knock and throw herself at Alex so she could make Olivia’s horrible day disappear.

Instead, she strode down the hall, Hell bent on forgetting the blonde vixen once and for all. Or at least for the next few hours. She made her way to a dark, seedy women’s bar, hoping to find oblivion in the bottom of a pitcher of beer.

She sidled up to the bar and shot a nasty look at the woman to her right who immediately tried to strike up a conversation. The woman was a short, stocky looking dyke with red hair, cut in what could only be described as a man’s square cut. Her skin was ghostly pale and Olivia could see her wearing flannel and driving a Subaru Outback adorned with rainbow flags. Flannel Face took the hint and moved on to other pastures. Olivia placed her order and sat waiting for the amber liquid to arrive.

There was a mirror above the bar and she could see from her seat any woman who came through the door. She was four mugs into her pitcher when the door opened and in walked Alex Cabot. And she wasn’t alone. Olivia did a double take to make sure her eyes weren’t playing a trick on her and that she wasn’t that drunk.

Nope, it was Alex Cabot and she looked down right lethal. Her jeans were tight and ripped in all the right places, and her red shirt was unbuttoned to the point of being obscene. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and damn if she wasn’t wearing her tortoise shell glasses. The ones Olivia had secretly drooled over even more than the black ones.

The woman who was with her…well she didn’t really look like a woman, but Olivia couldn’t be bothered with that detail. She was too busy noticing the way the man-woman had planted her hand on Alex’s ass. It clearly said, ‘she’s mine.’ And for some reason that bothered Olivia.

Before she could process that little piece of information, the man-woman pulled Alex into a deep, clearly inappropriate for public viewing kiss, and Olivia wondered if her tongue was digging to China. Or other, deeper parts of Alex Cabot. When they finally decided to quit making a spectacle of themselves, Olivia noted with a tiny amount of victory that Alex wasn’t as flushed as she got when Olivia kissed her.

Just as she was about to do a mental victory lap, Alex plopped up on the edge of the pool table and drew the hulk of a woman, man, whatever, into another searing kiss. Only this time the man-woman laid Alex back on the pool table and the other patrons stood around whistling and cat calling.

Olivia watched for as long as she could stand it before getting up and throwing down her money. Sparing her…whatever Alex was, a last glance, she stormed out of the bar. Too drunk to drive, she stood outside walking back and forth, trying to sober up. She saw the door to the bar open a short time later and Alex and the Thing came spilling out.

Scooting around the corner, she watched, half horrified, half pissed as the man-woman pulled Alex to her and placed a gentle, almost chaste kiss on Alex’s lips. Alex slid her arms around the other woman and returned the kiss and something broke inside Olivia’s chest. She watched as Alex and the other woman hailed a cab and she noted it did not go in the direction of Alex’s apartment. She felt momentary relief until she realized she and Alex had only gone to the blonde’s apartment once.

Finally sobered by the sight of her…of Alex, in the company of another woman, she drove to her apartment. Once inside, she stared at the empty drawer she’d made for Alex in her dresser and the ten or so hangers she’d emptied in her closet three days earlier, before falling into bed.

XXXXXXXXX

Alex Cabot awoke in a strange bed, beside an unfamiliar body. What had seemed like a good idea the night before seemed sad and pathetic in the cold light of day. She’d gone to the same bar they were at last night the same day she’d asked Olivia to provide her with a drawer for a few personal items. ‘Ethan’ who was in transition for gender reassignment, had interceded when a woman didn’t want to take no for an answer.

Alex had bought him a drink and they’d spent the next two hours talking. She’d finally agreed to a date a few nights later after one of their marathon phone sessions. ‘Ethan’ had told her it would help take her mind off of Olivia, but she hadn’t been so sure.

So there she was back in the same bar last night with ‘Ethan’ and still smarting from Olivia’s flippant attitude toward their…whatever it was. And Alex was pretty sure she knew now. They were fuck buddies, plain and simple. The problem was she didn’t want to just be fuck buddies with Olivia Benson. She finally admitted to herself and ‘Ethan’ that she loved the woman.

‘Ethan’ was trying to cheer her up by taking her out for their third date. They’d had dinner and made their way to the bar. Alex had immediately spotted a very tipsy looking Olivia while she was trying to get money out of her pocket. ‘Ethan’ had seen Olivia at the same time Alex had and judging her reaction, he’d quickly surmised that was the great Olivia Benson.

‘Ethan,’ who’s female name had been Melanie, wasn’t a stupid person and he’d been around the block a time or two. Enough to know that he didn’t stand a chance with Alex Cabot with the way she looked at the other woman. He also knew he’d take whatever he could that night and if turned out to be nothing, so be it. But if he got to kiss and fondle a creature such as Alex, that was just fine too. And if the gods were being generous, he might just get to have her. But he’d never been lucky.

So it’d come as no surprise to him when Alex had grown fidgety upon entering his apartment. He’d tried to relax her with a nightcap and when that didn’t work he’d offered a backrub that she’d politely declined. What he hadn’t expected was for Alex to grab him and kiss him as if there was no tomorrow. She’d gotten his belt undone and his jeans unzipped, revealing his harness and the accompanying equipment before pulling back.

"Ethan…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t. I can’t." Alex had tears in her eyes and Ethan pulled her to him.

"Shh. It’s ok Alex. I knew the score the minute I saw you look at her. Would you like to stay here tonight? No strings? I know I’m not her, but I am awfully cuddly and you don’t look like you want to be alone."

She eased out from under Ethan’s arm and quickly dressed. She did take the time to scribble a quick note thanking him for all he’d done and the cuddle session. She also asked politely that he never contact her again. Wincing at the tone of the note, she finally threw it down and scurried from the apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia awoke with a mild hangover and cursed the day she’d been born. Stumbling into the shower, she quickly washed, dressed and headed for the station. Her anger had been simmering ever since the night before and it only built as she sat at her desk.

Just before lunch she slammed her drawer shut and told Elliot she had something to take care of. He and Munch exchanged glances before shaking their heads. He watched as she stalked down the hall and out of sight.

"Think she’s going to see Cabot?"

Munch laughed. "I know she is. Rumor has it Cabot was out with someone else last night and our Liv saw her."

"How the Hell do you know that?"

"Being a conspiracy theorist has advantages my friend."

XXXXXXXXX

Alex sat at her desk glumly, simply staring at the wall before her and thinking about Olivia.

She startled as her door flew open and in walked a rather pissed looking Olivia Benson. Alex spared her a glance before returning her eyes to her files.

"Did you forget how to knock?"

Olivia leaned over her desk and into her personal space. "I saw you last night."

"Following me?"

"What? No. I happened to be at the bar before you Alex. Before."

Alex leaned back and simply looked at Olivia. "So?"

"I saw you come in with that…that…thing! That man-woman! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Ethan. His name is Ethan, and do not disrespect him by calling him names. He’s undergoing gender reassignment, not that I owe you an explanation." She looked pointedly at Olivia.

"You left with her!" Alex gave her a withering look and Olivia corrected, "Him. You left with him. You two were practically fucking on the damn pool table. Have you no shame?"

Alex laughed and shook her head. "Shame? No I have no shame for being with somebody who wants to be with me."

"Alex, you were out and friendly, very friendly, with someone you obviously knew beforehand. It’s only been eight days since we…well, whatever we did. Broke up I guess."

"Broke up? Ha. We weren’t in a relationship, remember? You don’t do them. It was all casual? And for the record, you were also in the same bar. A pick up bar, so don’t get all holier than thou on me!"

"I wasn’t the one tongue fucking somebody in front of the whole damn bar! And you left with…him! How could you fall into bed so quickly after we…after that day?"

"Who I fuck and where I fuck are none of your concern Olivia! I have no commitment to you nor you to me, remember? Hell, I couldn’t even get a lousy drawer in your life!"

Olivia sat still and blankly watched as Alex shook her head and went back to work. She started to leave, but decided she’d gone this far, what was a little further?

"I cleaned out a drawer for you three, well four, days ago. And some hangers in the closet. If you want them." Olivia was studying the pattern of the rug.

"I’m sorry Olivia, I can’t do this. I should have never gotten involved, or whatever you want to call it, with you."

Olivia’s head shot up. "What? Why? Is it already that serious between you and…him? I know the old lesbian joke about a U-Haul, but surely she, he, hasn’t already given you drawer space?"

"How long have we been doing this Olivia? How many times?"

Olivia shrugged. "I’m not sure. A couple of months I guess?"

"Three months three days and some hours from the first time we slept together to the last time, which was night number 23 that we spent together." Alex tapped her pen, on a roll now. "That’s an average of 7.6 times a month, or 1.9 times a week. We’ve gone out to exactly six restaurants together, one movie and had beer with the guys a total of five times, each leading to us being in bed. The other times were just random occurrences."

"I love you."

Alex’s head shot up and for a moment, a brief moment, she actually believed Olivia.

"Even if you do, you don’t do relationships and contrary to my recent behavior, I don’t do fuck buddies."

"I knew you didn’t sleep with him!"

"I was talking about you Olivia. But what makes you think I didn’t sleep with Ethan?"

Olivia got up and walked behind Alex’s desk, She grabbed the woman and hauled her up against her and proceeded to kiss her long and hard. She was pretty sure her tongue had left no part of the other woman’s throat untouched by the time they pulled apart. Alex was gasping, her lips were swollen and her face was flush.

"Because you didn’t look that way when he kissed you." She leaned back in and kissed her again. "And you don’t do casual." Straightening the blonde’s blouse out, she looked smug when she continued with, "Bring your privates by tonight around eight. I’ll cook."

"I won’t be there!" But Alex Cabot knew she would in deed be there.

XXXXXXXXX

As they lay in a heap in Olivia’s bed, which now contained Alex’s small satin pillow for her knees, they giggled at the way they’d behaved. Getting up, Olivia walked over to the closet and looked inside.

"What are you doing?"

"Just making sure you actually have three suits hanging in there." She walked over to the dresser and opened the second drawer down. Alex padded up behind her and kissed her shoulder as they peered inside the drawer. Olivia laughed at the sight of Alex’s hose neatly folded along side her underwear and socks.

"Hey Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Why do we never stay at your place?"

"We have. Well, once. I don’t know. My apartment just seems like a place to sleep and eat. Your apartment seems like a home. I like it."

Olivia turned and kissed her and walked her backwards to the bed.

"We could rent a U-Haul."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hillary’s HH