TITLE: Second Chances

RATING: AC

PAIRING: A/O

SUMMARY: Alex's back and Casey's still around.

AUTHOR: Reese

 

The phone on her night stand sliced through the early morning silence that had settled into her bedroom. At first Decretive Olivia Benson was just going to ignore it, throwing her pillow over her head to keep out the piercing sound, but after the fourth ring she couldn’t hide from the fact that it might be work. Cops who investigated the kind of crimes that Olivia did, don’t get to be off the clock. Reaching over, Olivia picked up the black cordless phone, turning it on, and then bringing it under her pillow and to her ear.

"Benson."

"They got him, Liv."

It took a moment for the voice coming across the line to register in her head. "Elliot?" It took another whole minute to resister what he’d said. "Who got who?"

"The Feds, Liv. They finally did something right. They got him and most of his closest men."

Olivia’s heart stopped beating as she held her breath. Her mind worked quickly to ingest what her partner was telling her. The hope that he was talking about who she wanted him to be talking about, was nearly to much. Finally, after several long minutes which seemed like days to Olivia, she was able to voice her hope. "Velez."

"Yeah, Liv, Velez. They raided his place uptown last night. Nailed him and most of his origination during a huge meeting."

She could hear the emotion in Elliot’s voice. The relief, the satisfaction, the happiness. She wanted to feel all of that too, to feel it was truly over, to feel the hope that the imposable could now happen, but she wouldn’t allow herself too. She couldn’t put herself through the highs knowing that the lows almost tore her apart last time.

"Come down and see for yourself, Liv." Elliot said over the phone. "It’ll seem more real if you do. Besides the Captain is meeting with Hammond and if your around maybe you could make the offer to go."

Olivia sat up in her bed, drawing her knees to her chest, hugging them as she rested her forehead on top of them. "Offer to go where, El?"

"Not everyone gets a second chance, Olivia, don’t blow this. Get your ass down here and do what you wanted to do three years ago."

Olivia’s hand shook a little. "I already blew my second chance when she came back to testify against the hitman who shot her."

Elliot sighed in a way that told Olivia she was being overly difficult and unreasonable. "That doesn’t count, Liv. We nailed the son of bitch who actually shot her but not who ordered the hit. Her life was still in danger. It’s not now. They can release her from the program. She can come home if she wants to."

"What if she doesn’t want to come home." Olivia said softly.

Elliot’s voice became firm in that big brother way of his. "You were with her when she was here last year, so you know she wants to come home, Liv. Stop allowing your fears to get in the way and get your ass down here so you can tell the Feds you’ll take her the news. I know she’d much rather see you then some Federal Marshal."

Olivia sat there allowing her thoughts and emotions to swirl through her the way cream swirls through dark coffee. Lifting her head up, eyes brimming with unshed tears, Olivia finally replied to Elliot’s last comments. "I’ll be there in twenty."

Thirty minutes later Olivia sat on the edge of her desk holding her coffee cup, and watching as Hammond talked to Captain Cragen through the windows of his office. She sat there waiting for the Captain’s signal, the one that would tell her it was ok to come in. She focused on the Captain, ignoring Elliot, Fin and Munch as they unofficially celebrated the death of the monster who’d taken one of them away, and played ‘what ifs’ and ‘why hadn't she’s’ in her head.

What if it were to late? Why hadn’t she told her the truth before all of this had gone down? What if she’d been able to keep her safer that day? Why hadn’t she made her stick closer to her that day?

Captain Cragen looked up and right at Olivia as Hammond stepped aside a little. Olivia slid down from her desk onto legs that felt like rubber. She steeled herself, slipping into being a cop as easy as she slipped into one of her well worn leather jackets. She walked with purpose across the squad room and knocked firmly on the Captain’s door.

"Come in."

Olivia stepped inside and looked at each man in turn.

Cragen smiled faintly at his officer as he titled his head towards Agent Hammond. "They've agreed to let you go."

Agent Hammond nodded. "I think that after everything she’s been through a friendly face with good news is the least she deserves."

So many emotions played through her head and heart, but nothing showed outwardly. "When do I leave?"

Agent Hammond picked up a large file folder and extended it out towards Olivia. "She’ll need to sign the release papers. The rest is up to her. We can get you on the next flight out to Tucson this afternoon. You’ll be on her doorstep by dinner."

After getting more instructions from Agent Hammond, Olivia headed out of the Captain’s office and over to her desk. Lifting her jacket off her chair and slipping it on, then tucked the folder safely inside before zipping it up. When she looked up she noticed that the Captain and the other guys were all standing near her smiling.

"Give her back her life and bring her home where she belongs, Olivia." The Captain told her.

Olivia nodded, then gave her friends a warm smile. As she made her way out of the squad room she wondered if they all knew how she felt personally or if it was just Elliot. She couldn’t get the way the Captain had smiled at her when she’d asked him to ask if she could go get her out of her mind. The smile was warm, excited, almost knowing. She shrugged as she headed down to the morgue. There was one last thing she had to do before she left.

Standing next to the cold metal slab with Velez’s body on it, Olivia stared unblinkingly at his cold face and bullet riddled chest. There were several bullet holes, three of them almost in the exact places where Alex’s had been, but she knew without asking which one had finally killed him.

"You don’t know how badly I wish that I’d been the one to put that there, you fucking son of a bitch." Olivia hissed as she stared at the hole that the bullet had left as it tore right through the drug lord’s heart. "But it’s ok that it wasn’t. Wanna know why? I’ll tell ya anyway. Because she’s won. Your the one laying here on this slab with your chest full of Federal bullets. She’s still alive and about to get back everything you took form her." There was a fire burning in Olivia’s brown eyes as her gaze returned to his face. "I hope your burning in hell you bastard."

It was really over and done with. Velez and anyone else who’d have posed a threat were dead. Alex was safe to be Alex again. Olivia headed home after seeing the bodies for herself. Officially all she had to do was tell Alex that it was all over and that she could opt out of the program if she wanted to. Personally there was just so much more. Personally she needed to tell Alex the truth. She needed, wanted to finally let Alex know what she felt. She finally needed to know for sure if Alex felt the same.

As Olivia sat restlessly in her seat on the plane, she couldn’t help but think about past moments with Alex. The flirting, the innuendo, the growing emotions, the missed opportunities. Would this time just boil down to another missed opportunity? Every other time Olivia had tried to talk to Alex about what was happening between them her fear would take over.

Elliot was right, She thought as she looked out the plane’s window. Most people don’t get second chances. I can’t let my past keep me from having a future. Olivia smiled a little as she thought about Alex. Easier said then done, Liv.

The house was an older ranch style. The kind that littered this part of the country. It could hold up to the dry heat most of the year and the harsh rain when ever it came. The landscape was just like every other yard on the street. Dust, sand, and short desert scrubs. Everything but the blue Saab in the driveway was tan or rust colored. It was so different from New York that Olivia would bet a month’s salary that Alex hated it here.

Olivia took a deep breath as she reached for the folder that sat on the passenger seat of her rented car. She’d been waiting three years for this moment and now that is was here, she couldn’t make her hands stop shaking. Olivia steeled herself before getting out of the car, and then took another deep breath as she walked towards the front door.

The door opened before Olivia could even knock. Alex stood in the doorway looking at a face she’d never thought she’d get to see again. Her blue eyes locked onto Olivia’s brown ones and both women forgot to breath for a moment. Alex was the first one to come back to Earth.

"What’s happened now?" She asked.

Olivia released the breath she’d been holding. It had only been a year since Alex had returned to New York to testify, but now as she stood in front of her friend once again, that year seemed like a life time ago. "It’s over."

Alex nearly gasped at the thoughts Olivia’s words brought to mind. "What do you mean it’s over?"

Olivia looked around on instinct to make sure they were alone as she stood on Alex’s front step. Then she returned her gaze to Alex’s beautiful face. "They’re dead, Alex. It’s all over."

Alex visibly stiffened when Olivia used her real name. She looked over the detective’s shoulders and then quickly stepped out of the way so Olivia could come inside. Once they were both inside the house Alex closed and locked the door behind them. She paused a moment before turning back to Olivia. She wanted to rein in her thoughts and her emotions before facing the other woman. When she did turn around her eyes once again locked with the brown ones she missed looking into so much.

"When?" She asked.

It took a moment for Olivia to realize that Alex had spoken to her. She’d been willing to allow her friend the moment to regroup, but now as they stood face to face she was the one who needed the moment. Business first personal later. "Last night. The Feds had a person on the inside. It gave them a chance to go in and bust up a meeting that was being attended by Velez and his closest people. There’s no one left to pose a threat anymore."

"Are you sure, Olivia?" Alex asked.

It always sent chills up Olivia’s spin when Alex called her by name and she had to fight hard not to allow her to see it. "I saw the bodies myself before I left, Alex."

Alex smiled as she tried to keep herself together. "I haven’t been called that since the last time we got to see each other."

Olivia couldn’t help but return the smile. "You’ll get to be you again if you want to."

It was then that Alex saw the folder in Olivia’s hand. She knew what was in it. She’d put witnesses in the program, heard of them getting out when the danger was over, but hadn’t allowed herself to think about that happening to her. "I want to see the pictures."

"I thought you might." Olivia said as she handed Alex the file. "It’s all in there. Pictures, statements from the officers involved, the papers you need to sign."

After taking the folder from Olivia, Alex headed into the living room of her house and sank into her favorite old leather chair. She normally hated leather furniture but the chair had been apart of the house and it’s worn soft scent reminded the former ADA of a certain detective's leather jackets. Alex looked through the crime photos, read over the statements, and watched Olivia out of the corner of her eye. The dark haired woman had taken a seat on a near by couch and looked as if she had a million things on her mind. The more and more Alex read, the more she was sure it was really over, the more she allowed herself to hope. But could she really hope that Olivia was going to be apart of getting her life back?

"It really is over." Alex finally said as she looked up at Olivia.

Olivia nodded as she smiled at her friend. As she’d sat there watching Alex read over the martial in the folder, she was able to see more and more of the real Alex, of her Alex, coming back. There was a renewed light in the pair of blue eyes she now looked into. "God it’s good to really see you again."

Alex’s face lit up at the way Olivia had said that. She was fairly certain that her friend hadn’t meant to say it out loud but there it was. "Got a pen on you, Detective?"

The teasing way that Alex used her title made Olivia’s skin tingle. "You didn’t think I’d come without one did you, Councilor?"

After taking the pen that Olivia had pulled from the inside of her jacket, Alex singed the release papers without any hesitation. She was tried of pretending to be people she wasn’t. She wanted to get back to New York, back to her life, back to friends and family. "That’s that I guess." She said as she handed the pen and folder back to Olivia.

"I’ll let Agent Hammond now you signed them and then get these to him as soon as I get back." Olivia said softly as she took the offered items.

The two women were quite for a moment. They simply looked at each other trying in vain to figure out what the other was thinking. It was Alex who finally spoke up. "When do you have to go back?"

"They wanted to give you some time to think things over so they gave me an open ticket. The Captain gave me a couple extra days off."

Alex’s smile brightened and she decided to be the bold one. "Have you checked into your hotel yet?"

Olivia shook her head. "I came here right from the air port."

"Good. Then you’ll stay here with me."

Olivia’s heart stopped again. "Alex, I don’t want to be an imposition. You’ve got a lot on your mind, a lot to process and deal with."

Sliding to the edge of the leather chair, Alex reached out and put her hand on Olivia’s knee. "You’ve never been an imposition to me, Olivia."

She paused long enough for the meaning of her words to sink into Olivia’s hard head. She knew that part of the reason she could never be sure of what Olivia was feeling was because Olivia could never seem to get past certain issues that Alex didn’t fully understand. Issues that she should have taken the time to understand. Alex wasn’t going to repeat mistakes now that she had a second chance at her life.

"A pain in my ass yes," Alex continued. "but never anything negative or bad. You could never be a bad thing for me."

Olivia looked down at the hand on her knee. She wanted so badly to place her own hand on top of it. She’d been surprised by not only the meaning of what Alex was saying but also that she was saying it so boldly and so quickly. She hadn’t been able to work herself up to this. Finally giving into to her impulse, Olivia placed her own trembling hand on top of Alex’s. "I’ve missed you."

Alex smiled and was once again fighting the tightness in the back of her throat and the burning in her eyes. The soft tone of Olivia’s voice, the warmth of her hand, the look in her eyes told Alex volumes. "I missed you too, Liv."

Moving gracefully off her chair Alex slipped onto the couch next to Olivia and then pulled the other woman into an embrace. They held each other silently, neither one wanting to let go, but both afraid of holding on.

When they did let go, Alex smiled at her friend. "Why don’t you go get your bags out of your car. We’ll get you settled into the spare room and then we’ll call for take out. It can’t compare to the places back home, but I know this nice little Chinese place."

With a nod of agreement and a soft smile, Olivia stood up and headed for the door. As she stepped out onto the front step, she knew that one way or the other her life would be different when she left this house for good. She just hoped that it would be for the better and that it would include Alex.

Alex had been right about the food not being anything like what they could get back in New York, but it was pretty good nonetheless. The two women sat on the floor around Alex’s coffee table eating out of white take out cartons and drinking a really nice red wine. They were both starting to relax as they talked and laughed, and caught up. The ease between them felt so natural and real, and both women silently scolded themselves for not relishing this a long time ago.

"So what did they have you doing this time, ‘Tiffany’." Olivia smirked in a teasing way as she used the new name they’d given Alex.

Alex groaned as she rolled her eyes. She hated that name even more then the last one. She smiled as she picked a spicy dumpling off Olivia’s plate and then admitted, "Teaching judicial ethics at the local university." before popping it into her mouth.

Olivia nearly choked on the mouth full of wine she’d just drank. Once she had it swallowed she laughed openly.

"What?" Alex asked as she looked over at Olivia. There was a slight smirk on her face since she already knew why Olivia found so funny, but she wanted to hear it from the brunette's lips anyway. She liked the way Olivia’s full lips moved when she spoke, or smiled, or laughed, or even frowned.

"You were getting paid to dish out to law school kids what you use to dish out to us on a daily bases." Olivia said as her laughter faded into mere giggles. "Didn’t know the program could choose new lines of work so well."

Alex threw a fortune cookie at Olivia before laughing. It felt good to laugh this way again. Alex had to keep telling herself that this wasn’t a dream, that it was real. She was getting her life back and it was Olivia who had come to give it to her. As she reached out to pick up one of the white cartons, her hand brushed against Olivia’s who‘d been reaching for the same one. She looked quickly from their touching hands, to Olivia’s face. The feeling that it was all a dream was stronger at moments like this. It was Olivia’s blush and shy smile that told her it wasn’t. She could dream about, fantasize about, and imagine Olivia in thousands of ways, but nothing her memory and mind could conger up could come close to the real deal.

Olivia slid her hand out from under Alex’s, her skin tingling from the touch. She could still feel the old attraction that the two of them had played around with before Alex had left, only it was different now. It wasn’t just play anymore, the safety net of their jobs and their apprehensions wasn’t there anymore. This scared and confused Olivia.

"Where do you want the leftovers?" Olivia asked when she realized that they were both done.

Alex looked over the array of white cartons and shrugged. "I’ll just toss them out. You look tired, Liv." Alex replied softly as she started picking up their plates and glasses. "Your still on New York time."

Olivia was tired but sleeping was the last thing on her mind. "I’m fine." She told Alex as she started helping her clear things up. She carried several of the white cartons into the kitchen and then tossed them into the trash. When she turned around, Alex was at the sink washing up. Olivia just stood there for a moment watching her. It was a struggle not to walk over and wrap her arms around Alex’s waist, and to kiss her neck.

"There’s plenty of hot water left." Alex said over her shoulder. She could see Olivia watching her out of the corner of her eye and she wished the other woman would do what ever it was she wanted to do. "I have a few papers I need to look over and I need to write my notice to the university. Why don’t you take a shower and relax while I tie up my loss ends. "

"You have time to get everything here settled." Olivia told her as she moved closer to the blonde.

Alex turned to face Olivia as she wiped her hands on a towel. "The sooner I get things started, the sooner I can get back to New York."

This made Olivia smile. "They’re all acting like kids waiting of Christmas for your return."

Alex laughed. "They’re all waiting for the return of the Ice Princess Mega Bitch to come back?"

"No one’s thought of you like that for a long time, Alex." Olivia told her softly. "Not on a personal level anyway. They figured out that the IPMB was your professional persona and that you were really a very caring woman."

Alex could feel the heat of her blush warming her face. "I bet they had a little help solving that one."

Olivia dropped her head a little trying to hide her own blush, and then just shrugged.

Alex took mercy on her friend and changed the subject. Grabbing Olivia by the hand she started to pull her out of the kitchen. "Come on. I’ll show you were the towels and things are in the bathroom."

Alex had been on the phone with her boss at the university when Olivia had gotten out of the shower, and Olivia didn’t want to disturb her so she settled into the small spare room that Alex had put her bags in. She called Hammond and informed him of their status, and he told her that he’d get started on the legal accepts of giving Alex her life back. He needed to undo her death and unfreeze her assets, and he wanted to have it done by the time they got back to New York. When she was off the phone with Hammond, she called Elliot. He’d asked if they’d talked yet and Olivia told him they were building up to it. He replied by telling her that he’d kick her ass if she left Arizona without telling Alex that she was in love with her. Olivia was about to tell him off, but Elliot quickly changed the subject to Branch and how he was trying to find a place in the DAs office for Alex.

By the time she heard Alex get off the phone in the other room it was late, and Olivia was fighting to stay awake. She listened carefully as Alex moved around in the other room, and then as she walked down the hall. She smiled when the blue eyed blonde stuck her head into the room.

"Liv."

"Yeah Alex?"

Alex smiled. "Nothing I just wanted to hear you say my name again."

Olivia’s face beamed as she smiled at her friend. "I called Hammond. He said that he’d make sure that all the legal sides of your return are covered by the time you get back. I called Elliot too. He says Branch is working like hell to get you a place back with the DA."

This time Alex’s face lit up. "I can't wait to get back." She walked into the room slowly and sat on the edge of the bed that Olivia was sitting on. "I know it won’t be the same. I don’t want it to be, but I still can’t wait. I missed my work, my family and my friends. I even missed the things I didn’t have the change to have."

It was an opening and Olivia decided she wanted to take it. She wasn‘t sure if now was the best time to do this. She had wanted to give Alex time to adjust, but she was tired of putting things off for just the right moment.

"What things?" Olivia asked.

Alex looked at Olivia, her face soft, her eyes searching. She was so glad that the Olivia had picked up on what she was trying to do. "You."

This took Olivia aback even though it had been the answer she‘d wanted to hear. Her mouth was suddenly very dry and her voice didn’t seem to work, but Alex’s face begged her for a reply. "You had me Alex."

Alex shook her head. "Not the way I wanted you."

"That was my fault." Olivia said as she looked down at her hands, which were twisting nervously in her lap. "I was afraid to let the playfulness in our interaction go beyond that."

Alex moved closer to Olivia. She placed the tip of her finger under the other woman’s chin and then titled her head up so she could look Olivia in the eyes. "You can’t have all the blame for that, Liv. I could have told you back then that I wanted to try to be more then just friends."

Olivia didn’t reply right away. She simply looked at Alex. Reaching out, Alex took the file that Olivia had been working on and tossed it to the floor before taking hold of Olivia’s hands. Olivia closed her eyes from the contact and sighed. "Being in love with you scares me."

"Why?"

"Because it makes me feel as if I’m falling."

Alex reached up and cupped the side of Olivia’s face. "I’m right here, Liv. I’ll catch you. I promise."

"It’s not to late?" Olivia asked, unwilling to break eye contact.

"You’ve been the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before going to sleep for a long time, Olivia. Your a big part of why I want to get back to my life so badly. I want you in it, only this time I want you in it knowing that I love you."

"I love you too, Alex" Neither woman could hold back the tears any longer. When Olivia leaned in and kissed Alex for the fist time she could taste the salt from Alex’s tears on her soft pink lips. The soft kiss quickly became more passionate, more loving. They could each feel the other’s longing and need, and their love and passion.

Pulling back from Olivia, Alex brushed her fingers through her lover’s soft brown hair. "I don’t want to wait anymore, Liv."

"I don’t either, but you’ve had a lot come down on you in the last few hours, Alex. Your head must be spinning, are you sure you wanna add this to it all right now?" Olivia asked.

Alex didn’t reply she simply leaned in and recaptured Olivia’s lips before lifting the other woman’s tank top up over her head. They’d had weeks, months taken away from them because neither of them could make the first move. Then they’d had years ripped right out from under them because Alex had to hide in order to save her own life. Neither of them was willing to allow any more time to be taken away from them.

When Olivia awoke the next morning it took her only a few seconds to register the weight on her chest. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked down. She smiled at the sight of Alex’s head resting on her chest. She’d been so afraid that it had all been a dream. Olivia watched Alex sleep for quite sometime, running her fingers gently through her lover’s long blonde hair. She played the last twenty four hours over and over in her mind, wanting to ingrain each moment into her memory. She knew that a relationship with Alex wasn’t going to always be easy, but she’d have it no other way.

"Good morning." Alex muttered as she slowly came too. She tighten her hold on Olivia in a way that told Olivia she’d been afraid she wouldn’t be there.

Olivia kissed the top of Alex’s head and smiled as she replied. "Good morning."

"How long have you been awake?" Alex asked as she lifted her head up to look into Olivia’s brown eyes.

"Not long." Olivia answered as she brushed hair out of Alex’s face.

Alex smiled as she laughed. "Lair."

Olivia just smirked and then leaned down and kissed Alex softly on the lips. The night had been spent in slow exploration. Neither wanting to rush through their fist time together, and each wanting to savor what they both had longed for for so long. Olivia had never felt such emotions and sensations before, and there was this unique feeling of something she couldn’t explain but never wanted to be without again.

The mornings activities were more playful, more teasing, but none the less sensual and thrilling. When Olivia awoke for the second time she found herself alone, but the tingle that coursed through her body told her that it had all really happened. Slowly Olivia made her way out of bed, got dressed in the clothes that had been cast to the floor the night before, and then made her way towards the smell of coffee.

Alex was sitting at her kitchen table looking over the paperwork the Dean had sent to her by massager. At times teaching law had been painful for her since she couldn’t actually practice it, but the connection she’d built with her students had helped. She was going to miss them most of all. Alex smiled at the sound of shuffling behind her and turned to see Olivia finally emerge. God she’s cute as hell when she wakes up.

"Good afternoon, sleepy head." Alex teased.

Olivia made her way to the coffee as she replied. "Good.." She blinked.. "Afternoon? Why’d you let me sleep so long?"

"Cause you didn’t exactly get to sleep away your jet lag last night." Alex answered as she watched Olivia moving about her kitchen.

When Olivia finally turned and looked over at Alex, the sight of her lover made her cock her head to the side. "What the hell are those?"

It took a moment for Alex to figure out what Olivia was talking about. When she reached up to take off the thin wire framed glasses she’d been wearing, she noticed that Olivia’s gaze followed her movements. Alex laughed as she looked at the glasses in her head. "They’re my glasses, I didn’t feel like putting my contacts in this morning. What’s the matter Detective did you forget I wore glasses?"

Olivia walked over to the table, sat her coffee cup down, and then took the glasses from Alex. She turned them over and over in her hand, put them back on Alex’s face, and then removed them again. "Those are not your glasses."

Without a word, but with a silly smile on her face, Alex got up from the table and walked over to one of the drawers in her cabinets. She rummaged around for a few moments and then pulled out a small glass case. Slipping out the pair of black framed glasses she put them on, and then turned to Olivia. "Better?"

Olivia stood and walked over to Alex. She wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close. "Welcome back Alexandra Cabot."

Chapter Two

The view from the airplane window was breathtaking, despite the fact that she’d seen it a hundred times before. She use to fly in and out of New York all the time but never had seeing the outline of JFK ever meant so much. She was finally home to stay. As Alex looked out the window watching the city grow larger and larger before her, she felt a hand wrap tightly around her own. Looking over to the person sitting next to her, Alex couldn’t help but smile.

"You ok?" Olivia asked as she rubbed her thumb over Alex’s knuckles.

Alex smiled and settled back in her seat. "Never better."

The two women were quiet for a moment as they listened to the captain announce their arrival. "So what do you wanna do first?" Olivia asked as she buckled her seatbelt.

The smile and good mood that Alex had been in a moment ago faded quickly. She looked out the window again as she took a deep breath. "I want to say goodbye to my mother." She said softly. She then turned back to look at Olivia. "I didn’t get a chance to even say goodbye."

Olivia squeezed Alex‘s hand. "Then we’ll rent a car and drive up to Westchester straight from the airport."

Something in Olivia’s eyes made Alex’s head tilt to the side, the way it always did when she knew there was something wrong with Olivia. "What‘s the matter, Liv?"

Olivia turned away from Alex and looked up at the ceiling of the airplane. "Your right next to her."

Alex wasn’t going to pretend that the idea of seeing her own headstone didn’t gave her a major case of the creeps, because it did. She waited until Olivia looked back down at her and then squeezed her hand. She knew how hard all of this had been on her lover, and she wasn’t sure if the guilt she felt over it all would ever go away.

"We’ll pick up some fresh flowers if you’d like." Olivia said as they rose from their seats after the plane had pulled up to the gate. "I’m sure the ones I left before I came out to Arizona are withered."

A bright, yet sad smile lit up Alex’s face. "You’ve been going up there?"

Olivia actually blushed. "I thought someone should until you got back. Besides, my visiting your.. grave.. made for a good show just in case. "

"You never cease to amaze me Olivia Benson."

When the two women disembarked from the plane they were greeted by Agent Hammond, which disappointed Alex. She’d been hoping that the boys and Casey would be there. Alex and Olivia walked over to the Agent who smiled at Alex.

"Welcome back, Ms. Cabot." He then handed her a large brown envelope. "Everything has been taken care of." He went on as he motioned for the two woman to walk with him. "IDs, credit cards, passport, birth certificate, legal papers reversing your death. All in that envelope. Along with a key to a storage locker in Queens were all you things were housed."

The three of them walked through the airport talking about Alex’s re-acclimatization into her life until they came to a small visitors room. Hammond opened the door and ushered the two women inside. "There’s one more thing we have to give back to you."

"My job?" Alex asked with a crooked smirk.

Hammond smiled back. "That’s up to Branch. He’d be a fool not to give you back your job, even if you are a pain in the ass." Olivia bit back her laugh and Alex raised her finger, ready to snap back a retort when Hammond added. "Wait here."

As soon as the door was close, leaving the two women alone, Alex leaned against the small table and Olivia stepped closer to her. "What do you think he still has to give back to you?"

"Is it to much to hope that it’s my old apartment?" Alex asked with a small smirk.

Olivia smiled as she tucked Alex’s hair behind her ears. "You know that in that building that apartment would have gone to the next person on the list within a week. Don’t worry, though. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a better one. I even have the rest of the weekend off to help if you’d like."

"I’ll call the realtor that Mother use to use."

"Better ask for Cynthia Myers, Dear. She knows the city well."

Both Alex and Olivia jumped at the sound of the new voice in the room. When Alex turned around she stumbled backwards at the sight of the older woman standing in the doorway. "Mother?"

"It’s good to see you to Alexandra."

Alex stepped closer to her mother. "They told me you were dead."

Olivia’s mouth hung open as she stared at Caroline Cabot.

Caroline smiled as she reached out to hug her daughter. "They told me the same thing about you, Dear."

After hugging her mother, Alex turned to look at Olivia and asked. "Why didn’t you tell me?"

"I didn’t know." Olivia replied.

"Unlike you Ms. Cabot your mother went into the program rather easily. No last minute requests." Hammond told them as he stepped back into the room.

 

Caroline turned to look at the man standing behind her. "Now, Jack be nice. You know full well that if it had been you being forced to leave your life behind, you would have wanted to say goodbye to the person you love most too."

Alex and Olivia both stood there wide eyed and opened mouthed at Alex’s mother’s comments. Neither had had a clue that the elder Cabot had known about them. Mainly because they didn’t know about each other back then.

"Close your mouths girls." Caroline told the two women once she turned back to look at them. Then she smiled. "Don’t look so surprised Alexandra. You can’t believe that I wouldn’t have noticed that your face lights up at the mention of Olivia’s name, or that her eyes sparkle at the sight of you."

Both girls looked at the older woman and then at each other. Olivia smiled as a light blush colored her olive skin and Alex laughed. "I should have known that you’d have figured it out before me, Mother."

Agent Hammond cleared his throat. "I’m afraid it’s going to take a little while longer to get your home out of probate, Mrs. Cabot. We have a car waiting to take the three of you to the Plaza as you requested."

Caroline smiled. "Good. Come along girls. It’s way past time we all got back to our lives."

None of them said much as they sat in the back of the town car that was weaving it’s way through the streets of New York City. Each woman seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. Alex couldn’t help shifting her gaze between the city out side her window, her mother who she’d been told had died of a heart attack, and the woman she loved and never thought she’d be able to have. It’s not exactly how Alex had seen her life going, but maybe everything she’d been though had had a purpose after all.

"I should call the guys and tell them we won’t be making it tonight." Olivia said as she pulled out her cell phone.

Alex smiled. "Make it were?"

Olivia returned the smile, though hers was more of a smirk. "O’Malley’s."

"There’s no need to cancel your plans, Olivia Dear." Caroline smiled at the two girls. "I’m rather tired and will most likely make it an early night. We’ll have all day tomorrow."

Olivia looked over at Alex. "So are you up for a little more reuniting?"

"I’ve been waiting a long time to see those guys again and I never got to tell any of you thank you for nailing my shooter."

Olivia put her cell phone back into her pocket. "I think we still have a bottle of champagne to open."

Heads turned as Olivia and Alex walked into O’Malley’s. Most of the people looking at them where other cops and a few other ADA’s who knew or knew off the SVU detective and the squad’s former hardassed ice princess ADA. But wither or not they knew or knew of them, everyone was looking at them for one reason. It wasn’t everyday you witnessed someone coming back from the dead, someone who’d been shot on the sidewalk right outside the very door they’d just walked through.

"Are you ok?" Olivia asked softly as she and Alex made their way towards the back room of the bar.

Alex looked around at all the staring faces and then back at Olivia. "Can’t say they’ll ever forget my name when it comes time for their votes."

Olivia laughed. "Your only back a few hours and your already after Branch’s job?"

Alex smiled brightly. "Someone has to follow in his footsteps when he retires."

"Shouldn’t that be Liz’s job?"

"Normally I’d say yes but Liz doesn’t want it." Alex replied as they approached the room.

Olivia looked at her oddly as she opened the door and stepped inside. "Why not? She’d make a hell of DA."

"Because I have a hard enough time keeping myself from choking the two ADA’s I’ve worked with in Sex Crimes. I’d be up for murder if I had to deal with a whole gaggle of them."

"I think I’ve been insulted." Casey replied with a smile as she stood with a small group in the center of the room.

Alex smiled brightly at the sight of all of them. Elliot, Fin and Munch, Donald, Casey, and even Liz Donnelly were all standing there looking at her, smiling huge smiles. Elliot was the first to break off from the group and approach them. In one smooth move he had Alex in a huge bear hug, lifting her off her feet and spinning her around. "Welcome home, Alex!"

To say that Alex was caught off guard by Elliot’s hug would have been an understatement. Out of all of them, it had taken him the longest to warm up to her. Part of it, she thought, had to do with her arriving at the same time that Elliot’s competence as a detective was being scrutinized. But mainly, Alex knew that Elliot’s hardness around her was from his protective big brother role in Olivia’s life. "It’s good to see you too Elliot."

It didn’t take long for the group to fall back into their comfortable roles with each other. Alex had gotten hugs form everyone, even Liz, and she’d finally gotten the chance to thank Casey and the guys. But it was in a way a little odd for her. Personally, she was still their friend plus now she was with Olivia, so she still had a place in that part of their world, but as far as being part of the team she was now an outsider.

"So what are you plans now, Alex?" Liz asked.

Alex shrugged. "I honestly don’t know. I had been teaching pre-law in Arizona, which was nice, but I missed practicing it."

Casey smiled. "Did I forget to mention that Branch wants to see you as soon as possible?"

"Really?" Alex’s eyes lit up.

"He would have been here tonight," Liz added. "but he had a dinner with the Mayor he couldn’t get out of."

Alex huffed playfully. "Since when is the Mayor more important then me?"

Olivia laughed. "Oh yeah, the old Alex is back."

By the end of the night, there was a permanent smile on Alex’s face.

"You’ve been smiling all night." Olivia commented as they headed for the Plaza. "Doesn’t your face hurt yet?"

Alex laughed. "It’s been far to long since I’ve had a reason to smile. I don’t see this going away any time soon."

Olivia smiled as they stopped in front of the hotel. "Good because I like seeing you smile."

"Then come up to my room with me and make sure I have more reasons too."

"Are you sure? We’ve spent the last two weeks together."

Alex leaned in and kissed Olivia. "I’m more then sure that I want you around now that I finally have you."

"Same here, baby." Olivia took Alex hand and smiled. "So lead the way."

Chapter Three

The soft moaning, the whispered calls of her name, and light thrashing of the bed beside her, woke Alex once again. Gently rolling over Alex placed a hand on her lover’s shoulder. "Liv," Alex said softly yet firmly. "Liv, sweetie, your having another nightmare, wake up." When her lover continued to call out her name from her sleep, Alex leaned down and kissed her fully on the mouth. A few moments later when she pulled away, her lover’s eyes were open.

Olivia reached up and cupped Alex’s face in her hands. Tears welling in her eyes.

"When are you going to tell me about those?" Alex asked as she leaned into her lover’s touch.

It took a few moments for Olivia to completely shake off the sensations from the dream. When she did, she turned her head, not wanting to look into those piecing blue eyes. "I thought they’d stop once we got back here."

Alex sat up and then pulled on Olivia’s shoulder to make the slightly older woman look at her. "Tell me what your dreaming about."

"You." Olivia whispered.

"I kinda got that part already, Liv. You call out my name."

Olivia looked a little surprised, and then blushed.

"Liv?"

"They’re more memories then they are dreams." Olivia finally told her. "That night in front of O’Malley’s. I see you getting shot, I see your blood all over my hands." Olivia held up her shaking hands and looked at them as if they’d been stained red. "I should have saved you." She whispered. "I see myself sitting in the hospital waiting room with your mother, backing away from her and the doctor as he told us you were..." There were tears in Olivia’s eyes. "It all plays over and over in my head. Sometime I see you in the back of that SUV, sometimes your really.." Olivia’s voice cracked.

Alex wrapped her arms around Olivia and kissed the top of her head. "You did everything you could have that night, Liv." Alex knew without Olivia having to tell her, that her lover felt guilty over not stopping those bullets. "And I’m here now, I’m alive, we’re together now."

Olivia reached out and traced her finger around the scar on Alex’s shoulder. "I should have stopped it. What kinda cop am I?"

"Olivia Jayne Benson!" Alex scolded lightly. "Your a damn good cop! And don’t you ever doubt that, do you hear me?"

Olivia smiled. "Have I told you how much I missed you?"

Alex laughed and then kissed her lover quickly. "Not since last night."

Shifting their positions so she was hovering over Alex who was now flat on her back, Olivia smiled. "I missed you so much Alex." She leaned down and kissed her lover’s neck.

Alex was more then willing to allow this to go where it was headed, but the alarm on the bedside table shrieked out it’s shrill warning that if she didn’t get up now she was going to be late. "Liv."

"Mmm." Came the brunette's muffed reply.

"Liv." Alex tried again. "You may have two more days on your vacation leave, but I have a breakfast meeting with Arthur this morning."

Olivia groaned in defeat. Rolling over, she laid on her side and watched as Alex got up and headed for the bathroom. "Want some company?"

"Not if I want to be on time." Alex laughed over her shoulder.

"Fine, fine, I know when I’m not wanted. I’ll just get up and order room service." Olivia teased.

Alex laughed again as she closed the bathroom door. "You do that."

Heads turned when Alex walked into the DA’s office an hour later. They’d all heard the news of her ordeal, but seeing her walk past them in the living breathing flesh was something else.

The young woman sitting at the desk outside Branch’s office smiled as Alex approached. "He’s expecting you, Ms. Cabot. Go on in."

Alex smiled. "Thanks Susan."

Alex knocked on the DA’s door and waited for the man on the other side to tell her to come in. An instant grin light up Alex’s face when the plump man behind the desk stood up to greet her. "It’s good to see you again, Arthur."

"Welcome home, Alexandra." Arthur Branch replied as he came out from behind his desk. He gave the young woman a gentle hug before sitting beside her on his leather couch.

The old friends talked for quite sometime about their lives and their work. Arthur even smiled when Alex told him about Olivia, which made her think that Liv and Casey had been wrong when it came to why Serena had been let go. Finally, after another cup of coffee, Branch made his way to getting to the point of why he’d asked Alex to come see him.

"Have you given any thought about what you want to do now that your back, Alexandra?"

Alex nodded. "I’d thought about teaching a class, but to be honest Arthur I miss practicing law."

Branch smiled. "I’m glad to hear you say that because I have an offer to make you."

Alex perked an eye brow. "Oh?"

"It’s been brought to my attention that every other department in this office has at least two ADAs working as a team, Kibre and Gaffney, McCoy and his current girl Friday. Special Victims has had only one."

"I think I can see where this is going, Arthur, and I’m flattered but I won’t take Casey’s job from her and I sit second chair to no one unless forced too."

Arthur smiled. "I’m not offering you Casey’s job, nor am I asking you to play second chair to her. SVU brings in enough cases to keep you both busy on a full time, first chair basis."

Alex wanted to jump at the chance to take her old job back, but she couldn’t. She didn’t want to step on Casey’s toes. The redhead had worked to hard to find her place in the unit, and Alex wasn’t going to usurp that. "Arthur, Casey's worked to hard for me to use come in and.."

"Casey was the one who brought up the fact that Special Victims got shorted on the number of ADAs. She also came up with how the two of you should spilt the case load." He told her before she could finish her remark. He then handed her a black leather portfolio.

Alex looked at the man sitting next to her for a moment before opening the portfolio. "This is a level higher then what I left at."

Branch nodded.

"Can I have some time to think about this Arthur?"

The pudgy man nodded. "Of course Al..."

"Ok I’m done thinking." Alex said quickly. "When do I start?"

Branch laughed a deep belly laugh. "First thing Monday. Elisabeth will be waiting for you."

After leaving Branch’s office, Alex made her way to her old one. She needed to talk to Casey. Stepping up to the frosted glass door, Alex couldn’t help but smile as she knocked lightly.

"Come in." Came the female voice on the other side.

Alex walked into the office and nearly laughed at the look of surprise on Casey’s face.

"Alex? Well this is a surprise. What can I do for you?" Casey asked as she waved a hand towards the chair in front of her desk.

"I came to say thank you."

Casey flinched. "He wasn’t suppose to tell you it was me."

"Since when does Arthur Branch take credit for other people’s ideas?" Alex said softly.

Casey laughed. "So did you take it?"

Alex nodded. "I hope your really ok with sharing."

"I’m more then ok, Alex. This was your unit, you belong here."

Alex smiled brightly. "So do you, Casey."

Casey smiled and for a moment neither woman said a word. Then Casey replied. "Just don’t think I’m gonna share an office with you. I was finding Swedish fish and Dove chocolates for a month when I moved in here."

Alex laughed. "The chocolates were Liv’s." There was another pause before Alex finally added, "We’re going to make a hell of team, Novak."

Casey nodded. "Those five aren’t gonna to know what hit ‘em."