Title: Something about her
Author: Caterina
Paring: Alex Cabot/Olivia Benson
Disclaimer: I don't these characters
Rating: PG?? I guess

There's just something about her. When I am with her I feel I could
fly, but I also feel like I always have something to hide. When we
were together I feel happier then I have at any other time in my life,
but I can never really show her how I feel. It's strange how it always
seems to be that way in my life. I can never really let lose and
enjoy, I always have something thats holds me back.

I so pose it's fear. Fear for what she or others will think of me. Fear of what I
will become if given the chance to show the world who I really am. I hate always being so scared.
I hate having to run what I am going to say in my mind a couple times before I say it to make sure that I don't sound stupid, but I can't help doing it when I am around her.

I was never like this before. I was a fun person to be around, and have
always had alot of friends. I have always loved to party, and if the
party was dead, I have always been the person to bring life to it,
that is until I met her.

I love to be with her, but I hate who I am when I am with her. I've stopped going out with my other friends
so that I am always free to be with her whenever she wants to.

Truth be told I've never really had a friend. Well of course I have friends, I
am friends with everybody, but I have never had a friend like her. I
hate to think that I am clingy, so I give her space and don't call her
all the time, even when I feel I will go crazy if I can't hear her
voice.

I don't know what is wrong with me, or why I am acting like
this. I have never felt this way for anyone before, and even though it
is somewhat thrilling, it has turned me into what I have always
laughed at others for becoming; someone obsessing over someone they
can never have.

I have always thought it foolish to want something that you cannot
have, but there has never been anything I've wanted that I couldn't
have before.

I guess you could say that I have always been one of the
people everyone has always wanted to be around. In high school I dated
all the hottest guys in my school and some that went to other schools.
All the other girls always envied me, and I thrived on that knowledge.
In collage I had my first real relationship, and it was kind of nice
having a steady boyfriend.

Even though I never needed a boyfriend toget laid, I grew to enjoy knowing where my next
orgasm was going to come from. His name was Jack Jackson, as I am sure you can tell from his name
his parents didn't have much of a imagination. He was fairly good looking and second in my class, I was first. It only lasted a couple months, he had a big problem with my being smarter then him.

When he broke it off I was stocked to say the least, but after only a
hour or so he came running back to me saying he was sorry and begging
for me to forgive him, I just laughed and walked away. I know that I
could have just about any man, and most of the women that I could ever
want. I am smart and beautiful, and even though I wouldn't say that I
am rich, but others would.

I don't need to work, but I do anyway. I would go crazy if I didn't have my job. I am a workaholic,
and I love that about myself. I have months of payed time off saved up, but I don't see myself using it anytime soon.
You see, I am a lawyer, a prosecutor to be exact.

My parents hate that I am, but I guess that is one of the reasons I chose to be.
I love alot of things about myself. At a early age I found that being
insecure was a waist of time, so I never was. I have never been one to
pretend to be something that I am not just to please another person.

I am always in control, and if someone doesn't like me, which is
something very rare, they either learn to love me or they learn to
live with it. I have never changed how I am because someone else
wanted me to, until I met her.

I know that I am smart, but when I am around her I feel like the stupidest person on earth.
There's just something about her. She is Olivia Benson, and I am in love with her.